Well, here we are, somewhere close to Easter. I've never been anything but a half-assed Catholic. Frankly, other than supporting the Fighting Irish and thinking that Saints Francis and Anthony are pretty cool, I'm mostly a whole-assed Catholic.
But, I was out for lunch yesterday with some pals from the 215 and we got to talking about giving things up for Lent. See, every year I give up Lent for Lent. I relieve my soul of some excess blemishing and the Holy See gets its tribute. Everyone wins.
Somehow, we got to talking about indulgences, and I realized that we need to give Elvis just a little bit more credit.
We've already heard about the rock n' roll thing and the amazing style and the photo-ops with Nixon and so forth.
But I'm convinced that Elvis needs to be given additional credit for being the prophet of the American apocalypse.
For Trinitarian reasons.
See, Elvis, in all of his glory inaugurated what I would like to call the trinity of American doom.
And, in true Kingly fashion, did it alliteratively.
So, for this Lenten season, at least for a moment, I would submit that we might replace faith, hope, and charity with fried food, pharmaceuticals, and firearms.
In celebration of the King of Kings.
All praises due.
May God have mercy on my soul.