My phone has the internet and I was on it earlier killing time, which is exactly why having the internet on your phone is worth every penny it costs.
And on the homepage, in what they are calling "Odd News," was a story about the price of Chicken Wings going up.
I don't think the people at my phone internet news company understand.
This is not odd news.
This is a major crisis.
If we can't get wings, what the hell are we supposed to eat?
In other sort of hard to believe chicken wing news, to be sure that this really happened, I Googled "yahoo odd news chicken wings," and the first thing up returned "Bandits rob delivery man of chicken wings in Georgia." The same return involved the news "Panda found eating like a pig."
Now, before somebody gets things all out of whack, and threatens me with excommunication or burning at the stake or one of those tea bag rallies, let's pause for a moment and remember the following.
I don't doubt the existence of a supreme power. But I'll bet it isn't a white guy with a beard.
I don't doubt the theory of evolution. But, most days, I think being a monkey would come with less hassle, so neither am I convinced by its implications of betterment.
But I've been watching a lot of the Tudors these days, so I'm sort of back on my heresy bandwagon, and I thought I'd touch on the topic of intelligent design.
I have nothing against intelligent design.
In fact, I really like El Lissitzky.
But, if this design is so intelligent, explain me the following.
Why, if this design is so intelligent, is it that the aforeimplied intelligent designer decided that it would be wise to design the human finger such that the pain of smashing it accidentally will linger for hours afterwards?
If this design is so intelligent, why are my fingers so fragile?
And why were they put in a place that is so easy for me to smash?
Not really that intelligent if you ask me.
Omnipotentus hic null disegnator intelligentus est.
I made that up, but I figure a little Latin will at least keep the Catholics at bay.
has a b.a. from the university of notre dame and a ph.d. in art history from the university of delaware. for those reasons, he suffers nearly every autumnal saturday, but takes solace in getting wacco for flacco. he is currently assistant professor of art history and art criticism at the memphis college of art.