27 minutes till kickoff. I'm ahead of schedule this week.
Last week I was 10-4. I clearly can't predict a spread to save my life, but I'm practicing.
Because so many of you asked, here goes...
Week 5 NFL Predictions
Cincy @ Baltimore: It's spelled F-L-A-C-C-O. You can also spell it L-E-W-I-S. Just because Esteban Ochocinco's a hero of mine doesn't mean I'm stupid. Ravens by 14.
Cleveland @ Buffalo: I just can't believe in the Browns yet. Granted, I can't believe in the Bills yet, but Home Team advantage trumps incompetence, and I think T.O.'s fed up enough to have a big game. Bills by 7.
Washington @ Carolina: The Redskins are a mystery to me. They seem talented, but nothing ever works as planned. Carolina's just as big a mess. Here's my prediction. If Jake DelHomme hands the ball off, DeAngelo'll do the rest. Otherwise, it's anybody's guess. I want the Skins to win, just to get Campbells cajones off the charcoal. But you know, a Pick-6 is always a possibility, so who knows, but I'm saying Carolina by 3.
Pittsburgh @ Detroit: Steelers haven't won 2 in a row in a while. I don't care. Culpepper's a back-up and even though I'd like to see the vet get some of his 'spect back, it ain't gonna happen today. Black and Gold by a dozen.
Dallas @ Kansas City: Attention Comcast. Quit it with the Cowboys games. There's an Eagles game on at the same time. McNabb's back. Vick's still on the team. The Cowboys are a bunch of underachieving idiots, owned by a loudmouth, playing a bunch of underachieving midwesterners. I hope Dwayne Bowe has a huge game, so I can win my fantasy game. Saying this out loud is going to make me queasy, but Cowjerks by 10.
Oakland @ Giants: This is gonna be ugly. Even if Carr plays for Eli, it's probably not going to be worth watching. Giants by double digits. This could be the massacre of the week.
Tampa Bay @ Philadelphia: McNabb's back, the Philly phaithphull are going to want a new reason to toss him out of town, Kolb's been playing like a champ, Vick keeps talking about being a starter. McNabb's pride wins it by 10.
Minnesota at St. Louis: Rush Limbaugh is an ass. Any team that affiliates with him deserves to be skewered on a helmet horn. After last week, Favre's looking spooky good. And Peterson wasn't even on full tilt. This might be uglier than the Giants game. Vikings by 21, if not 35.
ATL @ San Francisco: I have no idea on this one. I haven't seen the injury report recently, either. But my gut tells me that it's going to be close, if not totally unpredictable. Don't believe me on this one, but I'm saying 9ers by 7, though it'll be the defense that wins it for them.
Houston @ Arizona: The Cards are in a funk, Warner's sort of injured, Schaub is still vertical and that damn Andre Johnson is looking like Larry Fitzgerald used to. Texans by 10. This might actually be their year for the playoffs, thought they'll have to send the Titans a card.
New England @ Denver: I'm totally bewildered by the Broncos. Good rookie, amazingly improved defense, and that coach actually seems to know what he's doing. But, Brady's Brady and I just don't see Denver's recent success trumping New England's sustained goodness. Here's that queasiness again. Patriots by 14.
Jacksonville @ Seattle: I don't even care about this game. I care so little about either of these teams, I'm not even sure who Jacksonville's QB is. I think it's Garrard, because I remember him lighting up the Titans, but he might be on the bench by now. And, I remember Seattle being sort of banged up. I vote Seattle by 7.
Indy @ Tennessee: I don't want to talk about this. Colts by at least 14.
J-E-T-S @ Miami: OK, I've taken the green pill. I'm a believer in the Jets, and this Braylon Edwards move will confuse people enough that it'll free up the Sanchise to do some interesting things with the rest of his weapons. And the Ryan defensive pedigree is enough. I'm calling it J-E-T-S by t-e-n.
Congrats to Dario Franchitti for winning the IRL Points Championship in an amazing season ending. And condolences to Scott Dixon, who I was hoping might make an argument for greatest ever. I'm really looking forward to the battle royale next year'll be.
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