I had a strange food experience today

Is there a twelve step program for sugar?

Whoever is in charge of this cupcake renaissance deserves a Nobel Prize. Or at least a Daytime Emmy.

I had a cupcake today from a place called Muddy's, here in Memphis. And I have to tell you all about it. Not to gloat but because Americans eat crap food and need to wreckanize quality when they see it.

First of all, I had the sugar shakes for about an hour afterward. Which is not only a sign of quality, but of divinity. The strangest thing about it wasn't the quantity of sugar, though. It was the duration and character of the taste experience.

First of all, it was a mint chocolate chip ice cream flavored cupcake, which might be the most amazing phrase I've ever heard. See, I love ice cream to begin with. Blue Bell makes the best I've ever had. And don't try the gelato argument, all you fancy people. I love gelato and I will show you where to get the best stuff on earth if you're nice, but I'm talking about ice cream, not gelato. And if you haven't had Blue Bell, don't come at me with some other Turkey Hill or Haagen-Merde or whatever junk you want to try to push on my block. Eat some Blue Bell and get back to me. Even the Ice Cream Depot in Milltown isn't as good, which is saying quite a lot.

So the first thing I noticed was that my teeth actually felt the cool of the mint. For real, like a breeze that followed the contours of my teeth. Boring people and dentists (not the same group, mind you) would say that that was my tooth enamel degrading. Yeah? So be it.

After that, it hit my taste buds, where it actually tasted just like mint chocolate chip ice cream, even though the mint was in the frosting and it was a chocolate cupcake. See, now I understand what the food show people mean when they talk about ingredients synthesizing, though I think I figured that out with pizza decades ago.

See, now here's the weird part, when I knew I was having a pan-dessert, transcendental experience. After a few seconds, after the taste had faded from my mouth, I actually felt the flavor of mint in my lungs. When I inhaled, I felt the cool rush of mint flavor that I had had on my teeth a half minute earlier.

You wanna talk about some next-level shenanigans. This was like looking through your third eye, man. Serious. Feeling taste? That's what I'm talking about.

Muddy's on Sanderlin in Memphis. Apparently it's across from the yoga studio, so you can frizzle fry your sphere with sugar when you need to.