Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Bit O' Christmas Cheer

Well, it looks like I've got a little time on my hands while the laundry is a-drying, so I thought I'd subject you all to some poemetry that I did a few years ago at the P&H Center for the Arts. This is what happens when a poet asks an art historian if they write poetry. Ole!

By the way, if anyone wants to take up a collection and buy me a pair of the pants that guy is wearing, I promise to wear them in every class I teach every December.

A Christmas Poem, cause it’s the season
How come Rudolph and the reindeers never unionized?
I was telling a friend of mine about this.
Saying it would be a good idea for something.
The unionizing of the reindeer that is.
But it makes you wonder about what would justify such a thing.
It doesn’t seem to me like those other 364 nights are super productive.

Back to the reindeers
So, I was saying.
That it doesn’t seem like those 9 have any reason for gripes.
I’m sure that National Geographic is paying them for all that reindeer documentary footage.
And Burl Ives is probably giving them kickbacks.
But it makes you wonder, or at least it makes me wonder, if they get anything out of the whole arrangement.
It’s got to be longer than a 8 hour workday.
And I’ve seen the specials. The fat man has a whip.
Maybe a union isn’t so bad.

Another Poem About Jesus
Ever wonder what Jesus used to get for Hannukah?
If I was Jesus, not saying I could fill those shoes,
Or sandals or whatever it was.
But if I was Jesus,
I think I might’ve had a minor dilemma with this one day holiday thing.
We should stick with eight days of presents.
In honor of Jesus’s heritage, naturally.
It just doesn’t seem fair to the kids.


  1. i remember how great this was!

  2. there are actually 12 days of liturgical christmas. so... keep celebrating if ya want. Once the christmas season is over in a week from now, we have First Night... that begins Carnival season and then Lent which means i have to suffer through all those shrimp po boy fridays, or crawfish etouffee poured over blackenned catfish.